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Abolish the Presidency. It’s a Useless Job.

We’re all gearing up now for the biggest extravaganza since Bristol Palin was on Dancing With the Stars. The Presidential Election of 2012. Everyone is so excited! Will Obama come back from his dismal low ratings and break the record (nobody has ever come back from such a low rating in their first administration to win). Will Mitt Romney or Jon Huntsman settle their Mormon differences? Will Rick Perry win or secede from the Union? Will Michelle Bachmann release a sex video?

We have no idea. But we know something will happen. And lots of it. It’s going to cost $2 billion to win this election according to the latest pundit analysis (“pundit” “anal” and “sis” being the key words here). There’s going to be a lot of smoking behind closed doors. A lot of deal-making. A lot of machines are going to kick into gear. Consultants will become rich. TV networks and newspapers will get down on their knees and praise god they get to survive another year thanks to the massive amounts of advertising.

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